I have been meaning to update this blog for a long time, I have been so busy with my other blogs I just haven’t had time to write a decent post here, I am sorry but I am not abandoning this blog.

I was going to post today about another child of a mixed orientation marriage who I recently met. You can read Erin’s story here. I was going to give a much bigger intro but then I saw that the judge overturned the ban on gay marriage in CA and wanted to comment very quickly on that.

This decision will be appealed for sure but this is a big step in the right direction. This is what Judge Vaughn Walker had to say about his decision:

“Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples,”  Walker went on to say, “Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license.”

You can read about this landmark decision here on CNN.

Here on 365 Gay.

MSNBC

And Fox News.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Judge overturns Calif. gay marriage ban: reports (marketwatch.com)
• California’s Gay Marriage Ban Overturned (reason.com)
• Beaumont Enterprise: Judge overturns California’s gay marriage ban (beaumontenterprise.com)
• Proposition 8 ruling: Gay marriage ban overturned (dailykos.com)

Is Elena Kagan gay or not? That is the question everyone is asking everyone else but Ms. Kagan.

My knee jerk response to the question of her sexuality is that it isn’t anyone’s business. However on further and deeper consideration it occurs to me that it is our business if she is gay.

Ms Kagan has accepted a nomination to the highest court in our country, she will be making decisions of the utmost importance which will affect all Americans. It is safe to say that in the next decade the Supreme Court will be asked to make some decisions regarding homosexuals.

I’m against outing anyone who doesn’t want to be outed. However, Ms Kagan has become a public figure by accepting the nomination. As someone who may hold considerable power it is her obligation to be forthcoming with the answer to this question.

The assumption seems to be that indeed she is a lesbian. If that is true, and not that there is anything wrong with it, then why isn’t she saying so? Is she ashamed of her sexuality? If she is gay and remains in the closet will she vote against gay rights?

She wouldn’t be the first.

Roy Ashburn, Republican senator who recently announced he was gay because he got busted, has voted against every gay rights bill put before him. And he only made number 5 on the top ten list of anti-gay gays.

The right might want to take Ms Kagan’s sexuality and make it an issue but the left has an obligation to ask this question so that she doesn’t use the court to hide her sexuality.

I hope she is gay, I hope she stands up and announces to the world “Yes, I am” like so many courageous men and women leading everyday lives.

It takes courage to come out of the closet. There will be a shit storm if she states that she is gay, no doubt about that. But if she refuses to answer the question and she is gay she is doing a horrible disservice to gay rights and to young men and women everywhere who struggle with their own sexuality.

Related articles by Zemanta

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• Does it matter if Elena Kagan is gay? (beliefnet.com)

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Last night I went to an event in Minneapolis. It was a meet and greet kind of thing for Crave Minneapolis, a chance to meet business women. I met some really interesting women there and am so glad I braved the storm and drove for hours (what would usually take 20 minutes) to go to this event.

I handed out my business card to one of the women I was speaking with. She noticed this blog listed on the back of the card and asked if I was a kid of queers. I said that indeed I was. She then went on to say that some of the most interesting people she knew had been raised by gay parents.

She meant two gay parents who were out of the closet living their life openly and honestly.

I explained that I was not that kind of child, that I had been raised by one straight parent and one gay, closeted parent.

The venue was loud so there wasn’t much discussion on the subject after that. We got to talking about the movie Mighty Ducks since her business was named for the character she played in the movie. She named her business Cake Eater Bakery and if you are ever in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area you must find one of their stores and try their sweets. I sampled one of their brownies (they called them something else but I can’t remember the name) and they were to die for. Better than sex brownies.

But I have gotten off track.

Her comment made me think about a couple of things on my long drive home.

As a child raised by a gay parent I don’t fit the mold. It wasn’t something I spoke about to anyone when I was growing up. I didn’t because I didn’t think I was allowed to. No one ever told me not to say anything but somewhere along the way I learned it was something for which I should be ashamed.

Kids today, who are raised by gay parents, have it so differently than kids in my generation or at least circumstance. They don’t worry about what other kids are going to say. Not that other kids won’t say something but since they aren’t hiding anything they don’t have to grow up trying to keep a secret.

I did.

I kept my dad’s secret just like he kept his secret when he was growing up. I don’t think he meant to drag me, or the rest of my family, into the closet but I don’t think he thought he had any other options.

None of this is here nor there.

I find it interesting that as it becomes hip to be gay or raised gay {(I mean hip as in accepted more and more) I never use the word hip, I usually use the word cool but I use it too often so I’m trying something else, I’m not that old however that I ever used hip in a hip way}. Anyway, my point, and I really do have one, is that I still don’t really fit the mold.

I know there are a lot of people who read this blog but who never comment. If you are a child of a gay parent, or parents please let me know you are here by saying “hi”. You don’t have to use your real name. I just want to know that there are others out there like me.

When I started to write this post I had something completely different in mind, thus my title.

I struggle to find topics to write about on this blog. Especially because there is little feedback I don’t know if anyone is interesting in what I am saying. I don’t want to just feature news stories about LGBT issues, nor do I want to talk about religion all the time. If you have a suggestion for a topic, if you have a question you would like answered I would be happy to write on those topics and welcome any idea you might have. Please help me out by leaving a comment with any topic you would like for me to discuss.

Thanks everyone!

I’ve never done this before on this blog but we are going to try something new.

Becky, the skin goddess from StormSister Spatique, has an awesome treat she wants to share with all of the readers on Kids of Queers.

INtelligent Nutrients lip balm is the balm to use this winter. Kick the Carmex habit by using a formula that isn’t made out of tires or other petroleum byproducts. Becky gave me two of these to giveaway.

I’ve been using this very lip balm for a couple of months now and it is wonderful. It’s got all sorts of good stuff in it that is all natural and organic which include some anti-aging stuff so it actually makes your lips look younger. You can read all about here.

I’ve never done a real giveaway here but I have seen them done and I am just going to follow suit.

Here’s what ya gotta do.

Sign up for the Kids of Queers newsletter, the box is just up there in the right hand side of the sidebar.

That’s it. The contest will run through the 12th of this month so you have a full week to sign up. Don’t worry, I won’t spam you. I send out a newsletter once a week to recap the events going on here and to pass out a little linky love.

Winners will be chosen from random using that random thingy online.

(yes, I still have to find it)

If you want some extra entries then you can do any or all of the following, however you must subscribe to the newsletter for the extra entries to count.

Become a fan of Stormsister Spatique on Facebook

Follow Stormsister on Twitter

Become a fan of Redhead Ranting on Facebook (I haven’t gotten around to putting up Kids of Queers on FB yet)

Follow me on Twitter.

Sign up for  the Redhead Ranting.com newsletter.

If you are already a fan or a follower just let me know in the comment section and I’ll ad that in the extra entries. Don’t lie to me, I will check.

Good luck to everyone, this is miracle lip balm, made by the guy who gave us Aveda products so you know it’s great stuff.

*** I have extended this giveaway until this Friday the 19th, so there is still time to enter!

A Step in Faith

Evangelical Christian Brent Childers explains his journey from believing that homosexuality was an abomination to marching in a pro-gay march on Washington.

I found this at Newsweek. Maybe there is some hope. Just don’t read the comments, there are still a lot of idiots out there.

I’m not surprised this article and Brent Childers has gotten such a strong reaction from the Evangelicals and I am not surprised that the GLBT community has opened their arms to him. I’m surprised that more people are stepping forward and admitting that they have realized the same thing as Childers, that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered folks are just like everyone else.

I especially love this comment:

Posted By: SeperationofchurchandState @ 10/09/2009 11:39:55 AM

America is a secular country. The foundation of our country is seperation of church and state. Marraige is a civil liberty, a right of every taxpayer, that some choose to have acknowledged within their religious communities. Anyone who thinks they have the right to say “My group deserves these rights, your group does not.” does not deserve to call themselves an American citizen. Religious beliefs of some do not justify the persecution of others. Jehova’s Witnesses believe it’s sinful to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, etc. Should we eliminate the rights of others to celebrate those events based upon one group’s beliefs? If you want to live in a country where the rights of some are non-existant while others enjoy the full extent of rights available according to a religious doctrine, there are plenty of other countries run that way. Feel free to become a citizen of one of them – if they’ll have you and if you’re prepared to be one of the people who loses their rights.

Less than 48 hours to go! Is anyone else as excited as I am to have the new school year start?

I will soon be able to blog on a much more regular basis. In anticipation of that I wanted to post a few reminders.

If you aren’t already following me on Twitter please do. I follow back everyone who follows me. You can also follow me on Facebook too. I think it’s the right link. I was just going to type that I don’t understand how people can spend so much time on Facebook but when I went to get the URL I lost 20 minutes. Hmmm….

This here blog is now available on Kindle. Of course if you found me here I don’t know why you would want me on the Kindle too but then I don’t have one so I have no idea how the whole thing works. If you have a Kindle and you subscribe to blogs please leave a note in the comment section and let me know how you like it. I’d love to get one but I don’t commute on a bus or train, I don’t actually commute at all, I can open a book easier than a Kindle as well. The price tag alone keeps me from purchasing one but they do look cool. I’d love to be able to download a book in the middle of the night.

That’s about it for now. Starting Tuesday you can look for more regular posts on this blog as well as the others.

Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. It seems my last few posts have been apologies for not posting. It isn’t that I don’t want to post or even that I have nothing to post but I have been struggling with a few issues lately. Issues that are related to this blog but not directly.

I’m never sure how much to reveal in my blogs. Obviously this blog is highly personal but it tends to be about the past so my day to day struggles usually don’t make it in this blog. My irritants and rants show up on my other blogs, as well as this one but still it isn’t all that personal.

I have been struggling with issues that are not easily summed up in a short or even long post but I will try to share it with you as concisely as possible because I need your help.

As some of you know I have been working on a book. I sat down one day last year and started typing for several months. I have always planned on publishing a book about growing up with a gay parent. When I first started writing, my book was filled with anger so I set it aside and started over. I didn’t like the tone of the writing or the end result. I didn’t want to publish something that was so negative because my experiences were not negative. I wouldn’t trade any of them for something different. So I started over and found that I had a talent for making people laugh at uncomfortable things.

I showed my writing to a few people and was encouraged enough to send my manuscript, or at least a portion of it, on to a few publishers. I received replies from all saying the same thing, I needed to develop the stories a bit more but they thought the subject matter was not only fascinating, intriguing and timely but also pretty damn funny and entertaining.

And then life got in the way. I shelved it again, right when it was just about finished, because of work and obligations I have to my kids and mother. I also think I shelved it because I was frightened of finishing it. If I finished it and sent it to publishers and they rejected it then what would I do?

And then I had a stunning realization. I don’t want to live my life in fear and yet I had been. If I don’t make the time to finish this book, which is something I have wanted to do since I was in third grade, I will never do it. I’ve made plenty of excuses for not finishing it. I don’t have the time, I don’t know how my family will respond to it, I can’t afford to finish it, I should be looking for a real job instead of taking the time necessary to finish it. And the list goes on and on.

I’m 43 years old and I am currently unemployed, there couldn’t be a better time to finish this project of mine. And there is so little left to do in actuality. I’m close to the finish line.

But I need your help. I need to generate income and the only way I can think of to do so at this time is to offer an excerpt of my book in exchange for donations. The size of the donation is up to you. All who donate will receive the first two chapters of my book in a Word Doc via email. I have set a goal to have a contract to publish or an actual published book by November 1st of this year. The top twenty donations will receive an autographed copy of the finished book when it is published. I realize it might not seem like much now but in twenty years or so it just might be worth something. Y’all could say you knew me at the beginning.

I read years ago that Harper Lee was given the income to live for one year so that she could write To Kill A Mockingbird. She hung around some pretty influential and wealthy people and I am not expecting to generate anything like a years worth of income but the gesture that those people made to her was powerful and what a wonderful piece of work she produced which she would not have done if she did not have the generous gift of her friends. I’ve decided to have faith that things will work out and that I will accomplish this goal which I have been striving for for most of my life. I’m scared to do this but I’m even more afraid to continue to live without taking incredible risks.

I want to thank you for your support whether you donate to my cause or not. If you have been a visitor to this blog I need to thank you. It is the feedback I get from this blog and the others that keeps me on this path, I don’t think I would have gotten this far if not for all of my readers.

Thank you.

Kelly McGillis has outed herself as a lesbian. You can read about it here.

Wow, I have never had 50 comments on any of my blogs before but my pissing and moaning about being rejected once again garnered just that.

All comments were kind and most offered to host my EC card. I’m truly thankful for all the supportive comments and the offer to host my blog and blogs like mine on their site.

However there was one comment that rubbed me the wrong way. And yet it illustrates what gay people and gay friendly people face everyday.

As anyone who reads this blog knows I struggle with my faith. So much so that I have moved from Agnosticism and am now leaning more towards Atheism. Paganism actually seems to make a bit more sense than Christianity but I haven’t looked into it all that much. I’m simply not sure what I believe anymore but am sure that the Christian model is not it. But I don’t begrudge anyone who is a Christian. I make fun of them a lot but the ones I am picking on are the ones on the fringe. The Fred Phelps type Christians.

When I see comments like the following I am perplexed and angered.

I am a strong Christian and believe that people who practice homosexuality are wrong. But, please understand, BEING a homosexual is not wrong. You’re right – we can’t choose what we have been made by God. But we can choose our behavior. We all are born with sinful natures. A person who embezzles money, a child who shoplifts from a store, a person who lies to their family, all these things are wrong and no more or less wrong than practicing homosexual behavior. This is what I believe, anyway.

Who are these people to say who is wrong? And just what does wrong mean? In all of the examples this person gives, someone is being victimized. I don’t see where that happens in a homosexual relationship. Who is being hurt? Certainly if one of the parties is cheating then someone is being hurt but that isn’t due to the person’s sexuality but by their deception.

She goes on:

So, I guess you are probably thinking I’m a narrow-minded jerk. Really, I’m not. I respect your thoughts, even though I don’t agree with them. I hope you can also respect other’s thoughts, even in you don’t agree with them.

I’m not sure. I don’t know how you treat other people so I can’t label you a narrow minded jerk without that information. If you are rejecting ads of mine, then yes, I do think you are a narrow minded jerk. If you are shunning homosexuals, then yes, I think you are a narrow minded jerk. If you are crusading to prevent homosexuals from the same rights that you enjoy, then yes, I think you are a narrow minded jerk. Just because you go to a Church that holds these beliefs does not make you a narrow minded jerk. It makes you a lemming but not necessarily a narrow minded jerk. It just means that you lack common sense and you can’t think for yourself. Neither of which are crimes but certainly a reason to avoid you. At least from my perspective. I respect a persons right to have any belief that they choose. That does not however mean that I agree with it nor do I condone it. And it certainly doesn’t mean I think you are right.

She then goes on to prove my point:

I would say anyone who openly promotes hate or derogatory comments, nope – no reason to respect their thoughts. But people who just think differently than you shouldn’t all be lumped into one big category of closeted homo haters. If you were created by God – and you are – then you deserve my love, even if we don’t see the world the same way.

I didn’t use the word idiot or stupid before but I am tempted to now. And it is with a heavy heart because I like this person’s blog. It is well written and quite amusing. But the thing is this comment is hypocritical. It does promote hate. If you say that something is wrong, liken it to criminal activity then you are giving the go-ahead for others to do the same. It isn’t just thinking differently. If that were the case we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If it were just thinking differently then gays would have the same rights that straights have. If it were just thinking differently then gays and lesbians wouldn’t be attacked, raped and murdered simply because of their sexuality. It is so much more than just thinking differently.